


The First Five Kisses

by spindleofwords



Series: Big Windup, Big Revelations, Big Relationships [2]
Category: Ookiku Furikabutte
Genre: I just don't wanna put all the name tags? So..., M/M, the whole team's in here btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-09
Updated: 2013-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-24 05:53:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/631152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spindleofwords/pseuds/spindleofwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanai knows he's an idiot, sometimes. And sometimes, that's okay.</p>
<p>A sort of sequel to Notice, the MihAbe fic I've written.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1st

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Notice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/631192) by [spindleofwords](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spindleofwords/pseuds/spindleofwords). 



It was the middle of the night; it should be hotter than it was, lying there in a room full of guys all in close quarters, but it all felt just right to Hanai.

The tall boy would never fully admit to it, but he missed being in camp and training with all of the team, even though Coach had only given them a month off. Because of that, the training camp out in the woods like last year is perfect to him. All of the old team was back, with a couple of freshmen; Coach was completely determined to play all of the first years in at least two games each.

And so they've been working hard, up before the sun and going to sleep as soon dark hit. Still, with all the work they've been doing, Tajima hasn't been sleeping well; Hanai knows because Tajima's whimpers and tossing wake him up, too. And even though he's not quite ready to deal with his feelings concerning the third baseman, he's man enough to admit that hearing Tajima in pain puts him in some kind of pain, too.

So that night, when Tajima started to toss and turn, Hanai (having opted for the futon right next to him just in case this happened) moved closer to the smaller boy and hugged him, tucking the ebony haired head underneath his chin, rubbing slow circles into his back. Tajima calmed down a little, but then something in his dream made him cry out pitifully and grab at Hanai's shirt desperately, his eyes getting teary at the edges, and before Hanai can stop himself he kissed the boy's forehead tenderly and kissed his cheek as well.

The captain froze, horrified that the cleanup would feel the light touches and wake up, but all Tajima did was settle in closer and sigh happily. Exhaling slowly, Hanai relaxed against his pillow and tried to release Tajima, only to realize the other boy was curled against him so thoroughly that he was sharing a pillow with him. The captain panicked at the feel of Tajima pressing closer and looked down to see the other boy's eyes half-lidded, looking up at him.

"Hanai? Am I dreaming?"

Hanai gasped and tried to look away, finding he couldn't.

"I…I…"

To his relief, Tajima smiles, and to his embarrassment, Tajima stretches up and presses a kiss to the underside of Hanai's jaw.

"I must be dreaming. This is how it always goes; you're such a spaz."

Hanai only gaped; Tajima had been dreaming about being with him, like this? Tajima had dreams of Hanai holding him like this? The captain had always wanted to hold the smaller boy closely, though he'd deny it vehemently if asked. With a sleepy chuckle, Tajima draws Hanai's attention once again as he yawns, pecks the older boy on the lips, and then settles down to sleep with a wistful sounding sigh.

"Good night, Hanai."

The next morning, it takes all of Hanai's courage to come into awareness, completely certain that Tajima will either have something smart to say or he'll remark on it at breakfast; either way, he's screwed, and he knows it. Still, he opened his eyes bravely and is relieved to find an absent Tajima. Thanking whatever baseball god was watching over him, he got up and went outside to the kitchen, pouring a glass of water. Hanai's about to take a sip when Tajima's loud voice from behind him causes him to grip the glass extremely tight and slosh water about.

"Good morning, Hanai!"

Hanai sighed in irritation, annoyed at himself for being so jumpy, and grumbled, "I should pay someone to beat the morning person out of you."

Tajima grins and perches on the counter next to the captain, swinging his legs back and forth, looking for all the world like one of the most innocent children ever.

"You know, I had the weirdest dream last night…"

With a bright blush, Hanai downed his water and set his glass in the sink, fleeing. Over his shoulder, he yelled, "I don't want to hear about it!"

Chuckling, Tajima swung off the counter and opened the fridge to find some breakfast before everyone else woke up. Teasing Hanai was fun and all but… his eyes sobering, Tajima softly ran his finger tips across his cheek, remembering the kiss that was pressed there.

He's almost completely sure it was real; but almost is not definitely. And Tajima knows that, somewhere deep inside himself where the hope doesn't quite reach. Still, Tajima knows he's doing the right thing when he comes around the corner and Hanai is sitting curled up into himself, his head and arms on his knees, deep in thought. At least Hanai was thinking about it now, and that was all the third baseman could ask for.


	2. 2nd

When it came down to it, the team could count on Tajima; they always had, in the past, and they had no doubt they could do again. If anyone could get them the runs they needed in this last inning, it would be the cleanup. So when Tajima stepped up to the plate with bases loaded, a grin, and a good game wish much too bright and happy to be part of a losing team, Nishiura High cheered frantically in the dugout and in the stands, and the catcher and pitcher stopped feeling so comfortable in their lead.

To be safe, the catcher started out with a fastball a little to the outside, still in the zone but if hit would be a pop-up or a grounder and easy to catch as well as easy to snag a double play with. Tajima watched it go by without blinking an eye, and when he caught the catcher looking at him furtively, the small boy winked audaciously. Glaring, the catcher settled down in his crouch and demanded a fast screwball, hard and flying, determined to get the impudent little second year out. He watched in satisfaction as his pitcher smiled wickedly, set up, and threw for all he was worth, a truly magnificent and powerful throw.

He watched as the ball zipped and corkscrewed and rose and dived and was certain the boy was going to swing and miss as he held up his glove for the catch, seeing the ball's trajectory. But the ball never touched his glove.

Tajima yawned a little; he had stayed up late watching tapes, but it had been worth it. He knew exactly the kind of pitch the pitcher was going to throw almost before the pitcher did; since the pitcher's screwball was legendary, it was the go-to pitch that the catcher called when he wanted someone out.

Unfortunately, when the pitcher threw with all his strength, it followed the near exact same path every single time, and if he was right, the ball was going to be a tiny bit to the outside, on the left corner, right…there…Tajima swung and grinned as the bat let out a tremendous clang and the ball flew way over everyone's head. Fruitlessly, the center and the left were running for all their worth towards the back fence even as Tajima was rounding first and Izumi was coming home. As the ball sailed over the fence, Tajima let out a whoop as Oki and Sakaeguchi crossed the plate, the latter running backwards to call out to Tajima, "Nice batting!"

Tajima grinned and ran faster, coming in with a somersault and landing on home. He was immediately mobbed by the team as he came back to the dugout, and Suyama and Mizutani lifted him on their shoulders. Waiting at the entrance of the dugout was Abe and Mihashi with smiles, and Coach with a slight, smug nod, and…Hanai, with a smile and looking like he wanted to hug Tajima.

Scrambling down, the ebony haired boy ran over to Hanai and jumped him, wrapping his arms around Hanai's broad shoulders with a giant hoot. Hanai tentatively embraced him as everyone congratulated Oki, Sakaeguchi, and Izumi, and Tajima looked up at the captain and quickly kissed him on the cheek. Hanai tensed even as Tajima darted out of his arms. Standing in the middle of the crowd of boys, he softly touched his cheek in shock, and then looked at Tajima, who was being hugged by Mihashi and simultaneously was having his hair ruffled by Abe. 

The boy made eye contact, blushed brightly for a minute, then smiled shyly and turned back to Mihashi with a full-fledged grin, talking excitedly. Hanai felt his cheeks growing warmer as Coach stood behind him, clapping a hand on his shoulder. He felt her lean down to speak in his ear, felt her hair brush the back of his neck.

"You know he's not just playing, Hanai."

He nodded and turned stiffly into the dugout, gathering the team in so they could go out and trade "good game's" with the opposing team. As they lined up, Tajima stepped right in front of him, shoved by Coach Momoe, and when they ran out and exchanged high fives with the other team even being just that close to the small boy was making his heart race. He was so out of it that when they jogged into the outfield for their team talk he tripped over Tajima and they tumbled, ending up with Tajima pressed flat into the taller boy, straddling him.

Hanai looked up with huge eyes, frozen, and Tajima pushed himself up without thinking, placing his hands on Hanai's chest and also halting abruptly when Hanai inhaled sharply at the feel of Tajima's hands. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours and seconds, their eyes meeting and their consciousnesses drowning in each other before they heard a voice and snickering pull them out of their reverie.

"Um, we're still here, guys."

Startled, the pair repelled each other with equal force, so that Hanai slid across the grass and Tajima fell off of Hanai and rolled over a couple times. Brushing himself off, the captain sat up and grabbed his hat from the place it fell as Tajima grinned sheepishly and moved next to Mihashi. Coach only looked at the pair amusedly before starting the post game speech, congratulating the team and mentioning highlights by certain players, as well as giving Tajima special credit for his four-run home run. When it was done, the team did field maintenance chores and cleaned up the dugout; after it was deemed clean enough, Coach asked Hanai to say a few words, and he nodded briskly, stepping in front of the team with a grin.

"You all performed excellently today; even the freshmen who were up to bat batted with such skill the other team thought we had put in older players to fill our freshmen spots! I thank all of you for putting your all in to each and every game; we win because of our spirit. Let's practice hard to win all our games and go to the championships!"  
The team cheered loudly at this and then gathered in the huddle for the team chant. With a loud cry, all of the boys yelled out and then broke to get their bikes and bags and go home. As most of the boys passed Hanai, they traded good games or high fives or, in Abe's case, just a smile; but the last to pass Hanai to go out of the dugout was Tajima, and even as he blushed he beamed widely and told him good game, and good batting. Watching the ebony haired boy walk away, Hanai jumped a foot in the air as Coach clamped a hand on his shoulder.

"C-Coach?"

"What are you doing, huh? Why haven't you told him yet? You both know, won't it just make things easier to talk about it?"

Hanai pushed her hand off and went to pack up his baseball bag, averting his eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Coach leaned against the entrance to the dugout, arms crossed and an irritated look on her face.

"Yeah, and I'm sure he doesn't, either. You've got the hots for him, Hanai, and he very obviously feels the same; you can't even tell him? Are you that scared of being yourself?"

Hanai never meant for her to hear his whispered, "Yes," or to see the tears that filled his eyes, but she did anyway, because she was Coach, and that was what she did. Nodding slowly, she said softly, "I see," before walking away and leaving him to hang up his bag in silence.

He couldn't imagine why it was so hard for him; he had never considered himself into anything like Tajima, he had in fact had his eyes on quite a few girls (especially when the baseball team started to do really well) but then Tajima had…had…he had done something, and now all Hanai wanted was to see Tajima's smile, hear his laugh, look at his twinkling eyes, run his hands through the boy's black, black hair, and maybe see what it would feel like to kiss him. And all of that, Hanai felt with such intensity that it scared him. And that's what it was, Hanai realized as he rode his bike home. He was afraid of liking Tajima so much; he was frightened of the strength of his emotions for the cleanup.

He was scared.


	3. 3rd

Tajima was getting better, slowly but surely, at his math skills and his English skills, but only because Hanai was his tutor.

For some strange reason, following the sound of Hanai's voice was easy to the small ebony haired boy (you know, for some reason he couldn't possibly imagine). When Abe had figured that out, he had put Hanai on permanent tutor duty for Tajima, a move that Sakaeguchi, as the second vice captain, seconded. Which is how Tajima and Hanai eventually started to spend every Tuesday and Thursday night after practice together. On Thursdays, they were over at Hanai's house, up in Hanai's room, studying English.

Currently, Hanai was having Tajima read him a passage from their literature book; the small boy stopped as the door opened and Hanai's mom came in bearing two bowls of curry. With a smile, she set them down on Hanai's desk and tittered, "Just in case you've gotten hungry, dears. I'm sure Azusa is working you very hard, Tajima, and he hasn't let you come down for a break yet."

"Mom! We're working right now! And besides," here the taller boy pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation, "what have I told you about my name?"

Tajima stuck out his tongue at Hanai and grinned, "I like your name, A-zus-a."

"Oh great, look what you did now. He's never gonna stop with that, Mom."

The woman only giggled and made her way out of the room, tossing over her shoulder, "If you need anything, call."

Hanai only groaned as Tajima began to chant his name while eating his curry, a steady stream of annoyance. The cleanup only grinned as he heard Hanai's grunt of exasperation.  
"Shut up, Tajima."

"What was that? I'm sorry; I'm too busy enjoying my curry to hear you right now, A-zus-a."

Feeling somewhat playful, Hanai smiled and leaned over, dipping his spoon in Tajima's bowl and snatching a piece of meat. Tajima's gaze snapped up to follow the meat as Hanai waved it around.

"Have your attention now, do I?"

His voice a strangled whisper, Tajima growled, "Give it back."

Hanai shook his head no and popped it in his mouth. Tajima, instead of wailing and pouting like a child (which is what Hanai totally would have bet money that's what he'd do), leaned closer and fixed him with a predatory glare.

"Give. It. Back."

Hanai still had the meat in his mouth, a little too surprised to chew, and he said around it, "It's already in my mouth. What, you want me to spit it out?"

Tajima went to nod, and then stopped, moving closer in a flash and pushing Hanai out of his chair onto the floor, his back pressed against the bed and his legs stretched in front of him. Straddling him, Tajima leaned in close and whispered, "That's not a problem. Just don't swallow, or you'll really regret it."

And then Hanai couldn't do anything but sit there as Tajima pressed their lips together and forced his way into Hanai's mouth, couldn't do anything but close his eyes and try to remember how to breathe because Tajima was just so close and he was kissing him…when Tajima's tongue brushed against Hanai's, the tanned boy had to try embarrassingly hard not to groan and settled on clasping his hands around the other boy's waist hard enough to leave prints.

This pushed the other boy closer so they were chest to chest, and Tajima was only too happy to move closer and renew his efforts at getting his bite of curry. It was like a game of keep away; Hanai was moving the meat around in his mouth, curling his tongue around it so Tajima couldn't get it, and Tajima was trying for all he was worth to grab it.   
For all of Hanai's efforts, Tajima had wrapped his own tongue around it in a few seconds (seconds? minutes?) and swallowed, taking a moment to breathe before coming back in, pressing his lips against Hanai's once more, and Hanai didn't know what they were doing anymore, only that his hands had somehow found their way underneath Tajima's shirt to trace light patterns on his bare back as Tajima softly moaned into his mouth and pressed impossibly closer.

The pair of boys weren't making completely conscious choices at that point, and as Tajima's hands started to wander across his chest, Hanai started to lose awareness of everything that wasn't the warmth of the boy in his lap, and his body started to make its own choices, deciding it liked the way this felt, and that it wanted to participate. So Hanai found himself ducking his head and pressing soft kisses to Tajima's neck, loving the way the sable haired boy gasped and his head tilted back to give him better access and his hands came up to clutch the back of Hanai's shirt.

Their mouths reconnected, and really, how long had they been at this? A couple of minutes, a couple of hours, they didn't know; but Tajima could care less about anything else, and he was so wrapped in Hanai he didn't hear the door. Neither did Hanai; so, hands busy, mouths busy, tongues busy, and minds preoccupied, the pair of boys were completely distracted and failed to notice the door as it stood open and the mothers on the other side calling their names. It was only when Tajima bit Hanai's bottom lip and the tanned boy let out a low moan and tightened his hands against Tajima's back that they finally heard the voices of their mothers.

"Azusa!"

"Yuuichirou!"

They broke apart dazedly, eyes still closed, noses still touching, foreheads against each other; it took another call from their mothers to help them figure out why they had stopped in the first place. When it registered with them, Tajima fell backwards off of Hanai's legs while Hanai only looked at the parents with a shocked glance before turning completely red and freezing in place, too stunned with embarrassment to think of anything to do or say as his eyes were drawn to the floor. Tajima gathered his bookbag and work very quickly and fled the room, his face a blazing red, sparing a second as he passed Hanai to glance at him and make eye contact. Hanai flushed deeper and curled in upon himself, arms hugging his legs and face hidden.

The two mothers carefully avoided eye contact as they walked down the stairs in mortified silence. Walking Mrs. Tajima to the door, Hanai's mother opened the front door for her and stepped out with her. Clearing her throat, Tajima's mother turned towards Hanai's and smiled a little staggeringly.

"Thank you for having my boy over, as always."

With a weak nod, Hanai's mother sagged against the door frame.

"Anytime you'd like."

After seeing them off, Hanai's mother went upstairs and sat at his desk, one head on her head. The teenager didn't look up at her until she started to talk, softly saying, "Do you know how long we were standing there, calling your names?"

Hanai groaned softly in shame and his mother winced a little.

"Don't do that, please. I've heard enough of that for today. Really, I support you two, but…you aren't together officially, are you? You have to date before something like that can be okay with the parents, honey, okay?"

Hanai could feel tears well up in his eyes, and he answered in the same low tone of voice his mother had.

"I'm sorry, Mom."

His tone was wobbly and hurt, something she couldn't quite place until she realized it was anger. She sighed and turned to look at him, his face once again hidden in his knees, and then sat on her knees in front of him, one hand running over his head, stroking him comfortingly.

"I'm not mad, baby. I'm not mad at you; it's not your fault, any of it. This is a happy thing, that you've found someone you like so much. So stop being mad at yourself."

She watched as her son's shoulders started to shake and heard him hiccup as he started to cry, and her heart broke for him as he said despairingly, "I don't know what to do, mom! It scares me…I feel so much for him, I can't…it's not supposed to be like this! I'm not supposed to be like this."

She hugged him then, pulling him forward into her arms, and he sobbed brokenly, his arms wrapped around her and his head on her shoulder. All she could do was sit there and murmur soothingly, and it killed her inside. She couldn't fix this for him; he'd have to do it by himself.

..  
..

Tajima was in the car when his mother walked down the steps from the Hanai household; when she got in the car, he immediately closed his eyes, determined not to talk to her. He had no such luck; his mother only started the car and sighed, looking at him in the rearview mirror. Tajima looked forward, caught her eye, blushed, and looked away, completely mortified. She turned around in her seat to face the backseat.

"Come on and come up to the front seat; we need to talk, and I'm not mad at you. So come on."

When he didn't budge, she smiled softly at him and squeezed his knee.

"Baby, this is as hard for me as it is for you. I want to pretend like I didn't see that either; that was your and Hanai's moment. But we've got to talk. So move, Yuuichirou."  
He looked at her briefly and then got out of the car, coming up to the front seat. He took one look at her and started to well up, looking away just as quickly. She ran her fingers through his hair, and then cupped his cheeks and faced him to look her in the eye.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

Tajima sniffled and tried to wipe away tears fruitlessly, his face suddenly shiny with tear tracks. He closed his eyes and ducked his head, snuffling, "I…I…I'm sorry you had to see that, we…"

His mother laughed and rested a hand at the back of his neck.

"It's okay, Yuuichirou, I'm okay with this. I was a little shocked, but you are a healthy teen boy; what else was I going to expect? I'm almost surprised it took you this long, and that this hasn't happened before, but I suppose that was probably because of Hanai, huh?"

Tajima nodded and wiped his face clean of tears before looking at his mother with bright eyes.

"I never wanted anything in my life more than I wanted that, y'know? I can't believe he let me kiss him…but he looked so ashamed of himself when I walked out. What if he doesn't want to talk to me anymore?"

Tajima's mother started the car and pulled out while telling him, "I can't imagine that he wouldn't; after all, we were trying to get your attention for a quite a while before we got to you, and you were both…equal in your efforts, as far as I could see."

Tajima cringed just a little at the mention of them watching and asked lowly, "How long were you standing there?"

He watched as his mother colored just a little and carefully said, "Long enough."

Tajima shrugged and leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes.

"Okay."

He could only hope the other boy wouldn't brush him off like he was nothing, and that they'd still be able to talk and play on the team together. Hopefully, with any luck, Hanai wouldn't run as far as he could in the other direction as soon as he saw Tajima.


	4. 4th (Not The Home Run You Were Expecting)

And, actually, it was good. They both handled themselves well, if with a little more flushing than normal. 

They never really talked about it, despite Tajima's efforts to talk to Hanai. And they continued to play well together on the team; everyone else could tell something had happened but they didn't know exactly what. And that was how it went for a couple weeks. Normally. Tajima expected something to change, something to give under the tension, but no. Everything was normal. And finally, Tajima realized that something did have to give; and when the time came, he didn't realize until afterwards that it was going to be him.

After practice, Tajima stuck around to talk a little to Hanai; after all, the guy couldn't not to talk to him if it was just the two of them around cleaning. Or so Tajima had thought. But every attempt to start a conversation with the taller boy fizzled out, and he found himself frustrated enough to hit something. And after fifteen minutes of failed conversation, he did.

"Ow! Tajima, what are—"

"Got your attention now?"

Tajima picked up another glove and threw it at Hanai, who ducked and stared at him in astonishment.

"What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? I keep trying to talk to you, and you keep avoiding the conversation! We need to talk, Hanai. We need to talk about what happened, and you know that! Just…listen, will you?"

Hanai's eyes narrowed in agitation, and he crossed his arms.

"I'm listening."

Tajima looked at him with narrowed eyes and crossed his arms, his voice low and irritated.

"No. You aren't. But I'm gonna talk anyway. Listen, Hanai, I never wanted anything as much I wanted that kiss; and you kissed me back…No. Shut up," he pointed at Hanai accusingly as the captain opened his mouth to say something, and waited until he was quiet before continuing, "You kissed me back and we both enjoyed it! And you won't admit it, and I think you're scared, but trust me, Hanai. This could work."

Tajima had been walking slowly towards the other boy as he talked, and he stopped in front of him, eyes sad.

"You're so afraid to be yourself. But when you let go for just a second, you have to admit it feels nice, right?"

Hanai scowled and looked away. Tajima grabbed his chin and yelled, "No. Look at me!"

Hanai turned back to him with startled eyes that softened as he looked at the smaller boy. He watched his hand come up and move to touch Tajima's cheek softly, and he sighed as Tajima leaned into the touch with closed eyes and a soft sigh as well. The cleanup's hand came up and clasped his as it cupped his cheek, and when he opened his eyes again, his eyes looked right into Hanai.

"You want this as much as I do. Why are you holding yourself back?"

Hanai closed his eyes as a pained expression crossed his face, and he whispered, "It's not right."

Tajima rocketed forward and kissed Hanai desperately; the kiss was returned with equal desperation as Hanai leaned forward into it. Tajima brought his arms around Hanai's neck as the captain leaned back against the locker in the dugout and wrapped an arm around Tajima's waist. When they separated, Tajima, breathless, told him unsteadily, "See? That was…it was…"

Hanai silenced him by kissing him again, chaste and soft, and they stayed like that for a second before pulling back again. The tall boy looked down with wide eyes, but when Tajima met them, he found fear, and he knew deep inside what was going to happen before he asked; it still didn't prepare him for how much it would hurt.  
"Hanai, I know I like you….I like you way too much for my own good, and I can only be happy that you play the position behind me in the field so I don't look at you too much during games. Otherwise I'd miss everything. But…do you feel that way for me?"

The captain was silent, not giving an affirmation but not pushing him away either. But when Tajima curled his fingers against the back of Hanai's neck, he shuddered and pushed Tajima away, sitting on the bench.

"I…I…I think I…I'm not sure how to…I can't…"

"You…You're just playing with me, then; I'm a phase, aren't I?"

The hurt in Tajima's voice made Hanai look up quickly, and he started to say, "No, Tajima, I—"

But as Tajima felt his eyes start to burn, he ran. He ran out of the dugout and hopped on his bike, and started his way home. Hanai watched Tajima flee with a burning in his chest, and he ran after the boy, tripping on the thrown gloves. He came out of the dugout after a holdup of mere seconds only to find Tajima on his bike and rounding the corner. Before he knew what he was doing he broke into a run and was shouting as loud as he could, "Tajima! Wait! I do! Wait, Tajima! Please!"

Hanai ran after the boy until his sobs started to require more of his breathing and he sank to his knees in the middle of the street, his head bowed as tears ran freely down his face. His last sight of the smaller boy was him pedaling furiously to his house, ignoring the cries he heard behind him. Tajima never looked back; he entered his house and immediately went upstairs, locking his door and spending the rest of the night crying, ignoring his mother's pleas to eat something.

..  
..

The next week was torture for Hanai. Tajima was still talking to him, but he…wasn't. It was the worst thing he'd ever had to deal with. No longer did Tajima smile at him, or laugh when he was around; he didn't say his name anymore. Now, he called Hanai "Hanai-san," and it made Hanai want to hit something.

He was sure he had done something deserve this, but Tajima hadn't even heard him out. True, he wasn't exactly sure of what he wanted to say until Tajima had tried to leave, but…Hanai figured he could fight his way into another chance.

So he did everything he could to make the other boy act normally. Hanai was not above being a fool when he needed to, and so he sat there with the team and made jokes, tried to be near Tajima all the time, leaning on him all the time, anything for a response.

But for a solid two weeks, the boy did not smile or laugh around him.

For a solid two weeks, the cleanup bowed respectfully and called him "Hanai-san."

And for a solid two weeks, Tajima did not look him in the eye _once._

But Hanai endured it; if this was what it took to get him back, he'd endure that and more.


	5. 5th (But The Score's Settled Anyways)

But then there are things that Hanai just can't tolerate.

It takes for Tajima to completely ignore Hanai trying to throw the ball in to third for an easy out during practice for Hanai to be more than over the way the smaller boy is acting. Stalking into infield, the tall captain threw down his glove and caught Tajima by the back collar, dragging him in as he walked.

"H-Hey! What are you doing? Let me go!"

"Everyone, ten minute break!"

Coach Momoe straightened and peers out in confusion as all the boys conglomerated in the middle of the field and Hanai came stomping into the dugout dragging a captured Tajima. Looking briefly at coach, he growled, "Coach, no disrespect, but you need to leave right now, and maybe call the team off the field for a talk."

With a look at Hanai, she nodeds and went to round out the boys into left field, hearing behind her a cried, "Ouch! That hurt, Hanai, dammit!" and a sarcastic laugh of, "Oh, and he talks! He actually speaks words!"

Back in the dugout, Hanai shoves Tajima onto a bench and leaned over him. Tajima leaned away, turning away and crossing his arms in anger, but the captain grabbed his shirt and forced the cleanup to look at him. Tajima glared, then clasped Hanai's wrists and tried to pull, finding that he can't free himself. With a scowl, the smaller boy snarled, "You've got a lot of ne—"

Hanai gave him a little shake to quiet him and then leant in closer, whispering menacingly, "Tajima, I really need you to do what you've been doing all week and shut the hell up. And stay shut, okay? You understand? Good."

When Tajima is completely silent, Hanai sighed and sat on a baseball bucket behind him, never taking his hands off of Tajima.

"Tajima…I'm sorry. I'd like to say I don't know what I did to make you furious, but I do; it can't ever be apologized for, but, god, you are so incorrigible! Where the hell do you get off making us mess up in practice? You're not that important, I'm not that important, we're not that important, do you hear me? I can stand it personally, or even on the field when we're warming up, but not when we're playing. I deserve more than your anger, I'm sure I deserve something horrible, but our team does not. They work way too hard for you to disregard me on the field like you just did during a game. That out should have been easy! Easy! But you didn't even turn around for the throw. Don't do it again, or so help me I will get Coach to bench you for defensive plays in the next two games."

Tajima was still scowling angrily, but his eyes betray him wide with shock as they take in this change in Hanai.

The captain is livid, and it shows; his hands clutch at Tajima's shirt, crinkling in it, and his eyes are narrow slits above a thin line of mouth. As Tajima's eyes stare into his, Hanai finds himself studying the younger boy as almost a habit despite his anger because this is the closest he's been to Tajima in a full week, and he tries not to blush fully as his ears warm, finding voice to continue, still sounding like he's upset (which he is, and could be properly if Tajima wasn't so distracting, he swears).

"I…I don't know how many times I can apologize, and I have a feeling I can't really ever make it up to you, but, Tajima, no matter how angry you are, I'm not going to put you above the team, and that's final. You've been justified so far, but what you just pulled out there was bratty, and it's going to cost us. They don't deserve that; they deserve wins. And we won't get that with you throwing temper tantrums."

It seems that both of the boys realize how close Hanai is pulling Tajima to him at the exact same moment after the captain ceased to speak, because they both blush and Hanai lets go, leaning away.

Visibly upset, trembling, Tajima told him in a wounded whisper, "Fine. I'm sorry. But only for messing this one thing up, because what happened between us…I don't know when I'll be ready to talk to you again. Even now… you don't know what you want! You're so cruel, you…" Feeling tears come to his eyes, Tajima ran outside and around to the back of the dugout, running anywhere to get away from the boy who inspired such mixed feelings in him.

Hanai was right on his heels, and caught his wrist even as he passed the gate, using it to pin him to the wall, the other hand splayed on his chest. In spite of himself, Tajima felt his heart rate quicken at the contact.

"You ran away before I could answer you."

Tajima stared in confusion, befuddled by the change in Hanai's voice and body language; the taller boy's voice had gone low and husky, and Hanai was looming over him, flushed with eyes cast downwards, standing much, much closer than he needed to be.

"What?"

Hanai looked up and it was all Tajima could do not to shiver; Hanai's eyes seem to stare right into him, and for the first time since that day Tajima regretted storming off and not speaking to the boy in front of him. Hanai leaned in closer and pressed his forehead to Tajima's, exhaling softly.

"I…I was stunned when you came to ask me what I felt. But when you only gave me a couple seconds…how was I supposed to say anything when I wasn't sure and you were staring at me with those eyes? I…I…it's hard enough for me to speak to you normally when you focus on me completely, let alone about something as personal as us," the hand on Tajima's chest tightened, "but now I'm sure. I miss you talking to me, I miss you smiling at me, laughing at me; do you even know how many stupid things I've done to try to get you to talk to me or even look at me, to make you smile?"

Tajima felt the corner of his mouth quirk up as he answered softly, "Yeah, I saw. Every time. You're such a dork."

"And you're impatient."

Tajima pretended to consider this and then shrugged.

"Hey, I like results fast."

Hanai nodded, his eyes still closed and his forehead still against the smaller boy's but a small smile gracing his face. Tajima was struck with the sudden desire to kiss that smile off of him when Hanai looked up at him and pinned him with a look that made him breathless.

"H-Hanai?"

The taller boy smiled, but it wasn't the same one as before; this one promised much more in the way of results. Tajima felt his head smack back against the dugout brick as he moved back; Hanai was leaning in closer to him, his grip on Tajima's hands steel. He stopped an inch away from the shorter boy, their noses touching, both of them breathing a little hard. But Hanai was still hesitating, still, after the weeks they had both just gone through, and imaptiently the smaller boy gave him a nudge.

"You gonna kiss me now, Hanai, or do I have to do it myself?"

Hanai chuckled, but it was absentmindedly, like he was focusing on something else much more important at the time.

"Maybe I'll make you wait. After all, you aren't going anywhere while I'm holding you, and I know how you love waiting."

Tajima growled and closed the gap forcefully despite the large hand on his chest, pressing his lips against Hanai's.

"I hate waiting."

Mumbling, Hanai pulled away and kissed his cheek.

"I know. I'm sorry. I aim to make it up to you."

Tajima grinned, clasping one of Hanai's hands tightly in his as Hanai pinned it above his head and putting the other around the back of the taller boy's neck.

"Get started, then. You have a lot of it to do."

Hanai chuckled and moved in closer for another kiss, the meeting of their lips muffling his words even as he spoke them.

"I intend to."


End file.
